I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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