I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
