My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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