he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
