Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
this hospital has no fireball
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