oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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