Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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