I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
