why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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