The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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