How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
