He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
