you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
