I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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