um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
