I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
