My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My breasts were aching with rage.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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