how can u be prego again
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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