did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My dad just said "fuck circus"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
