You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
