Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
