worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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