he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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