that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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