I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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