Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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