it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
