And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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