One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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