I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
bring money and cleavage
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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