so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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