She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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