ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
how drunk are you?
Several
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize