Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
