hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
