and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
