Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just pynch a tree in the face
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
