She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
