How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
