Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
