A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
