walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
