We're facebook friends in real life
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
