Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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