After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
