in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
