hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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