K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i barfeds in our rink
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
