Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
