It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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