My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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