There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
So apparently I’m into choking now
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
