I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
