come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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