he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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