Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
