i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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