hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
only if we run a train.
done.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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