The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
operation harelip BJ is a go
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
