Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
It's never too late to be topless.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
