There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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