There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
