May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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