Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
