I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
