Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My breath smells like gin and sadness
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
