You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
