I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
