I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
