Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
