I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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