well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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