It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
