ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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