she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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