Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
