Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize