Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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