I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
