It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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